let's be friends, wanna?

In Memory of Heber.

click here to open post Sep 12, 2011 | posted in Personal | 1 comment

On September 3, 2011, our friend Olga lost her wonderful husband Heber to a tragic free diving accident. Olga is truly one of the.most.exceptional women I have ever met. She is radiant in every way. . . my heart is simply broken imagining the pain she is now experiencing at the loss of her sweetheart.

And Heber, well I have no words.  He was one of the most kind, generous and authentic people I have ever known.

If there is one lesson that I have learned from Heber and Olga, in life and in death, it is this, “love thy neighbor as thyself.”

If you are able, a donation account has been set up in Olga’s behalf. Even $5 would be a beautiful gift for this cherished friend. Aloha Heber; a hui ho, N

1 comment | add comment
  • Shelly: How heartbreaking. He sounds like an amazing man. I'm keeping his family in my prayers. September 13, 2011 8:34 am

Keep Calm and Write On.

click here to open post Sep 08, 2011 | posted in Inspire, Personal | 14 comments

Image source. I love it. I want one of my very own.

Oy.

I’ve NEVER considered myself a writer. Not until very recently. But the absurd reality is that since early, early childhood, my head has been swimming with words. Words that fill me with joy and inspire me to my core, words that make me wild with anxiety and burden my soul. . . words that scream at me from the inside. WORDS.

I write, because if I don’t, I go crazy. Wildness overcomes my soul and I start to feel like I’m going to catch fire from the inside out.

Just so we’re clear, this is all very embarrassing for me to admit. I feel silly and trendy and ridiculous. But the bottom line is this, complete transparency makes me feel more at home in my own life. Writing it all out, the good, the bad, the downright ugly. . . somehow, putting it on paper makes it all make sense. Somehow it gives me bearings and helps me know where I’m headed and the significance of where I’ve been.

But there’s no time. There are too many distractions. I’m constantly overcome with debilitating anxiety when I sit down to write, because trust me, I’m FULLY aware that I’m only marginally good at it.

The reality is, there are SO MANY THINGS in my life that I’m not very good at but that bring me immeasurable joy, clarity and peace. I’ll never be the best at ANYTHING I do. Never.ever. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t. . . do. And the same is true of you. Whatever your “thing” is. Get out and do it. With your whole heart. We’re only here once. . . and not for nearly long enough.

No more excuses.

I’ll be here. . . keeping calm. Writing on.

What will you be doing?

xx, N

14 comments | add comment
  • Josh: Beautiful, Natalie, thank you for your writing. Thank you for sharing your passions with us. This is a great reminder to maximize our time spent on this earth. Much love your way. September 8, 2011 5:14 pm
  • Rachel.hofheins.nilsson: Natalie. You amaze me. I love your words. I watched your video attached and I cried for you tonight. Thank you for sharing. Life is good and I need to be reminded of the BIGGER picture. It makes life that much sweeter. Thank you and I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. So so sorry. You are beautiful. September 8, 2011 5:33 pm
  • rachael: oh natalie, my heart would break if you ever stopped writing + sharing. your words are beautiful + say so much more than you'd imagine. i have been feeling all sorts of lost lately + if you hadn't shared your words, your thoughts, your life today...i wouldn't have found an answer i desperately needed. hugs...and lots of love. September 8, 2011 5:42 pm
  • Tami Nelson: Tomorrow I'm going to wakeboard and land some 180's and try some new tricks....maybe the wake skate too. That's what i LOVE....my passion....seems silly, but I LOVE it to the CORE!!!! Thanks Nat....love you!!!! September 8, 2011 5:59 pm
  • Morgan: I stumbled into your blog a few months ago and every time I read it I am inspired! I've wanted to leave you a comment about how I feel and this post is a perfect reason to. You're an amazing writer and infact I've wished you'd write a book because you're that inspiring to me. So please keep on writing... we'll all be here waiting for more! September 8, 2011 6:00 pm
  • Tami Nelson: ps....don't E.V.E.R stop writing!!!! September 8, 2011 6:00 pm
  • Hannah stayner: First I want to let you know I watched that video and am AMAZED at two things: how photography can bring out so much emotion, and tangible FEELING, (Jonathan Canlas has always been a favorite of mine) I sobbed. Uncontrollably. And second, how beautifully our father in heaven loves us, because along with the sobbing sadness, I felt how much love he has for your family, and through pictures, I felt as though I was looking at heaven. it was very apparent you were surrounded by angels that day.wow. Also, your writing is incredible! When I read your blog I always think "she needs to write a book. I would be glued to it." its like one of your sentances contains as much emotion and inspiration as a thousand words. so thank you. :) I know your writing has inspired many people, including myself. Keep it up! September 8, 2011 7:20 pm
  • Aileen Reilly: I feel exactly the same. And I'm so thankful for your writing. I think I need this poster. I have above my desk, "Keep Calm and Snap On" poster with a camera, but I dare say your's above needs to hang next to it. The two together are so joined for me. Write On dear sister. Right On. xo September 9, 2011 4:42 am
  • Shelly: You're an incredibly gifted, talented, and insightful writer, Natalie! Never stop writing! September 9, 2011 5:04 am
  • Liz: Natalie: You're a better (waaaay better) writer than you think you are. September 9, 2011 5:59 am
  • Vandi: I feel the same way about writing. I need it. My soul needs it, but I so often forget that until I find myself un-centered and disconnected and finally out of desperation sit down to write it out when...voila!, everything has become clear and focused again. I will always love your writing Natalie. You think it is only mediocre, but I think it is incredible. Your words reach my convictions and solidify them. To do that it must be good writing. Never stop! I'll always be here to read them. September 9, 2011 6:46 am
  • Amie W: Today, I am ironing! All of Mike's shirts! Yes, I said ALL. I've waited to long. Thursday is the ironing day and I was saved by a major power outage right as I was about to begin yesterday. I've learned something though, just because I'm able to put something off a little while doesn't make it go away. Dugh. I think that is a truth that could serve me in many areas of my life! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your WORDS give rationality to my thoughts! Love you! September 9, 2011 7:20 am
  • Lindsay r: Great post. I have always wished I was really good at one thing but guess what, I'm not. I've always admired those who are the best at what they do. But I love that you encourage all to do it anyways for pure joy. Thanks for that inspiring message and I thoroughly enjoy your writing and thoughts. Keep it coming... At the least for my sake. :) September 12, 2011 10:07 am
  • Rachel Boatright DeVault: For what it's worth, I think you write beautifully. And what you say resonates with me. That sentence about transparency? That's totally me. I FINALLY was able to post today about how I'm really doing--you know, not just "fine"--and once I got it all out, I could feel myself inching away from it. Finally. All that horrible anxiety and angst roiling around in my stomach for weeks. September 12, 2011 6:23 pm

click here to open post Aug 24, 2011 | posted in Personal | 4 comments

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Tomorrow I board a plane headed for home. HOME! I feel so parched. I keep imagining myself just standing on the beach, soaking in every ounce of aloha I can stand.

Alison and Emory, I am SO thankful that you are getting married, for a million reasons, of course, but sincerely, THANK YOU for bringing me home.  xo! N

4 comments | add comment
  • Liz: Isn't home the best? Have a wonderful time Natalie! August 25, 2011 12:58 am
  • shari: i'm so happy you get to go home for a refresher! :) August 25, 2011 8:43 am
  • Amie W: Feeling so happy for you! A little envious too! Lol! August 25, 2011 12:08 pm
  • athena: i know how you feel, and am happy you are going HOME! i still feel like a piece of my heart is missing... island girl at heart. August 26, 2011 6:10 am

My day: abridged.

click here to open post Aug 22, 2011 | posted in Personal | 7 comments

I heart Instagram.
And yes, this is my actual bed, where I will be in about 22.2 seconds and counting.

I am exhausted to.the.bone.

If I weren’t an inch away from conking out face first on my keyboard, I’d give you a big, long sob story all about how nutso my day ended up being (did I say “day?” Insert, day, week, month, LIFE, any will do), then I’d likely try to wrap it all up by pointing out the positive, and somewhere in the middle, I’m sure I’d praise God for His goodness and mercy despite all the pain.

GOOD NIGHT!

Natalie

7 comments | add comment
  • rach: Ok, your caption...so you! I love it. I LOVE that you have crazy incredible days, filled with everything from regular boring school days....to shooting famousness, to dealing with crazy people in Timbuktoo! But hey you can always point out the positive....and THAT's Why you are the BEST! and wrapping your day up with an attitude of Gratitude is just what you Nortons do. I LOVED this post! loved it! August 22, 2011 9:13 pm
  • Claire: You are awesome! August 22, 2011 11:21 pm
  • Amie W: less is more (sometimes that goes for words too) You said it all! Love you! August 23, 2011 8:05 am
  • Taunya Cox: I love that life can get so crazy for you, to the point of complete exhaustion and you still remember to be grateful! Live life to the fullest, it sounds like you are doing just that. August 23, 2011 10:49 am
  • Jo Thomas: Have you been making a teeny-tiny discovery that (shock, horror!) you are HUMAN??!! Not superhuman, not wonder mum, not Mary Poppins (oh, how fun would that be?!), just good old human full of emotion, full of feelings, full of conflicts and battles, full of love and all the trials and tribulations that come with loving deeply, full of commitments that wear you out daily, full of gratitude for the blessings you have? Hang in there.... good thing you seem to have a knack for finding an extra long rope when you're in a tricky spot. Go fish it out the cupboard (or storage box) then hold on tight!! With love and lots of prayers, xoxo August 23, 2011 7:57 pm
  • Kilie Farnsworth: Natalie? My name is Kilie! My husband and I were in your ward about 2 years ago, probably dont remember us but we were friends with the Laytons. where do you guys iive in Arizona!? What school are you boys going to? Both my parents are in the Gilbert school district. If you are struggling trying to find a program for your little man, my mom may have a good recommendation. Let me know if there is anything you need help with! Arizona is our old stompin grounds! :) I can relate to your homesickness.. i miss AZ and you miss Hawaii.. August 24, 2011 5:16 pm
  • CECI HOLDNAK: Dear Natalie, You do not know me. By pure coincidence, and looking through "google" for advise on portrait photography, I landed on your web page. At first, I said to myself: why am I reading about someone that lives so far away from me? Why can't I stop reading these blogs? What is so special about this person that makes me want to know more about her? Now, I know why... For the past 2 hours, I have been crying in front of my computer... Reading your blogs and some of your most touching and difficult moments in life, have made me realize just how fragile we all are. I have so much to say to you... but for now, I just want to tell you: WHAT AN AMAZING BRAVE WOMAN YOU ARE. God works in mysterious ways.. I too, live in AZ. I am in North Scottsdale and would love to meet you. I am a mom of two beautiful kids (girl 12 & boy 8), and have loved photography since I was 12 years old. Always finding "excuses" for not pursuing this seriously, but now, 40 years old and trying to fulfill a lifetime passion and turn it into reality. Like you said in one of your blogs: "Start with a small goal, a simple goal, and work on it every day..." this is exactly what I want to do... God is good, he's always been there for me, and I know he's always been there for you too. Hope to hear from you very soon. September 1, 2011 7:51 pm

Waiting for rain.

click here to open post Aug 19, 2011 | posted in Cardon, God is Good, Personal, Sensory Processing Disorder | 17 comments

One thing about the desert? It makes you feel small. Way out here, right in the middle of nothing, I’m tiny and insignificant. My roots just can’t seem to break this impenetrable earth.

Last night it rained. The Heavens cracked WIDE open, and down came the rain. Heaven poured down miraculous relief—both for the parched earth and for this homesick island girl. Something in the rain, and how it dumped from Heaven, helped me to grow, to gain my footing, to strengthen my brittle roots. Water everywhere. An abundance of relief.

This journey with Cardon is proving to be more difficult than I had anticipated (and that’s saying a lot). I’m good at rolling up my sleeves and getting to work, and I expected this experience to be just that, WORK. I just don’t think I’d properly gauged how exhaustive the process would be. I didn’t have an accurate measure of just how chaotic (and maddening) life would become before things would start to get better. School starts Monday, and I had envisioned us being at a very different place by then. But here we are. And there’s not a thing I can do about it. That’s the hardest part. I have ZERO control. No control over when doctors and specialists will be able to see us, no control over heart arrhythmias or borderline EKGs that halt planned treatments, no control over dyslexia diagnoses or literacy centers who won’t return phone calls, no control over uncooperative special ed coordinators at elementary schools. I just feel.so.small. And the problem here is starting to feel.so.huge.

But last night, I was reminded that the rain will come. It will, and it will bring sweet relief and an abundance of clarity, capacity and joy. I know that it will, because I know that God is mindful of me, yes, even me. . . tiny and all alone . . . in the middle of the great big desert.

For now, we’ll seek shade in his grace as we wait for rain.

17 comments | add comment
  • Noa: My dearest Nat.... Sending hugs, prayers, and mostly love to you and your beautiful family. Cardon is beyond lucky to have you as his Ima (mother) - you are a rock. And a rock star. And I adore you. xoxo Noa August 19, 2011 9:24 am
  • Lara Cheney: Natalie I love you. I won't even pretend that I can really relate to what you are going through. I do want to say that I understand the will to do anything to make life more successful for Cardon. We benefit better than many others in this world by knowing and having the faith that Heavenly Father will provide for us and is watching out for us even when we think we are all alone. He is still there watching over us and protecting us. You and Richie are amazing with all that you have gone through in the last couple of years. You can do it! That has been my mantra lately since things have become challenging for us as of late. You can do it, and you are worth it! August 19, 2011 9:28 am
  • cassidy: thank you, Natalie. I needed this. A fresh reminder that the rain will come. Just like His Grace. You are beautiful. *hugs* August 19, 2011 11:39 am
  • Cassie Foster: Dear sweet Natalie, I won't tell you it will get easier, because I don't want to lie to you. But I do know that the Lord will help you to help Cardon. He gave Cardon to you because you and Richie are the best parents he can possibly have. As you go through all of the testing and all of the heart ache trying to figure out the best for him, you will become stronger, you will be able to help him. My daughters therapist (she has Aspergers, ADHD, and several sensory processing issues) tells me every week, just keep at it, listen to your child, listen to your gut, listen to the Lord and you and your child will continue to grow, and you will be able to thrive and to help Cardon thrive. It will be a long journey, it will be stressful, and it will be hard. But to watch the changes in your precious child and to watch them make progress, slowly at times and in leaps and bounds at others, makes all of the hard work, all of the stress, and all of the heart ache worth it. Remember that you are loved, he is loved and there are so many of us who have been where you are, and who are willing to listen or to help in any way we can. August 19, 2011 11:42 am
  • Mickisha: Thanks for another beautiful post Natalie! You always help me to remember my "perspective". Its so easy to feel so alone and to let the chaos of life take over. I am trying harder everyday to more fully take advantage of his grace and love. Thanks for all your honest and inspiring thoughts that you share! August 19, 2011 4:30 pm
  • Natalie: People, I love you. Thank you for the support and love that you offer me here. I hope that each of you know that it is 100,000% reciprocated. Your comments always inspire me to continue to strive to become the best version of myself that I possibly can. xo! Natalie August 19, 2011 7:29 pm
  • Tami Nelson: Nat-That sounds so frustrating!!!! I am so sorry you have to deal with all that.....it's so hard when you have to rely on other people who aren't reliable. Yes, yes, yes, Heavenly Father DOES know every detail of your life and cares about every detail. This has been the longest last 6 years of my life....and that is exactly the lesson that Heavenly Father wanted me to learn.....He.Cares.About.Every.Single.DETAIL!!! Keeping you in my prayers....love.you.girl!!! August 20, 2011 3:33 am
  • Megan: You always have such beautiful words and articulate your feelings so well. I love visiting your site to see your beautiful pictures and to be inspired by you and your thoughts. Everything has its own timing and it usually always has a way of working out for the best... chin up. August 20, 2011 6:33 am
  • Laura: While studying Early Childhood Special Education at BYU-I I was able to interview a Mother who's child had special and unique disabilities. She talked about how it was so frustrating during the evaluation and diagnosis of her daughter's disability and how, at times, she felt like she was the only advocate for her child and the she realized that she had to be the one to make things happen. Or in other words she had to TAKE control... Something that I will also never forget learning is that the PARENT is the expert of their child. Remember...of anyone else in the whole wide world, YOU know your child and YOU...ONLY YOU can have spiritual insight for your child. You can know which avenues to (and not to) take to help him! Also, GOD knows you and your child, HE is the ultimate one in control. But I know you know that. There are those who will care more over paperwork or their lunch hour. On the other hand, there are others who will walk beside your child and love them, educators and professionals who will make a profound impact. Most of all, YOU are his parents and you have the say and the greatest impact. You are more powerful than you know. I'm sending prayers your way. August 20, 2011 8:16 am
  • Amy Paulson: How is it that you continue to become EVEN more beautiful? Know that we're praying for you guys. And so grateful for all of you. I still think Hannah and Cardon would be good friends... (Random ps: my husband (and I) read Richie's book and LOVED it.) August 20, 2011 10:59 am
  • rach: Oh Friend, I have been thinking and thinking about you. I am so glad that you got a little piece of Hawaii. And I know the Lord is constantly thinking of you & your family. I love you so & I am here whenever you need an ear. August 20, 2011 4:34 pm
  • Jessica in Canada: Natalie, I have been there, and am there. I had to let go and realize I am not in control. In a way, there is freedom in that. My child's successes don't rely just on me solely, and that takes a lot of pressure off. We can do what we can -- make the appointment, double-check on the spot on the waiting list -- but after that it is out of our control. One referral we had to wait 2 years for. We had to grow in how we trust God and we had to do what we could for our child at home during that time. August 21, 2011 7:33 am
  • Carmen: Your post about rain has been on my mind. I haven't met you but your blog is uplifting and often gives me a little boost when I need some inspiration. Anyhow, I had just posted about 'rain' in my own blog, a few days before you did, so thought I would share: http://brettandcarmen.blogspot.com/2011/08/when-it-rains-it-pours.html Thanks for sharing your life stories, I often find strength in your words. August 21, 2011 7:54 pm
  • mer: you are simply amazing... and your words, your language... so filled with love. so beautiful. keep working that plan ;) August 24, 2011 7:33 am
  • Dawn: Natalie- I'm a first time reader. What a beautiful blog. I can relate to the frustrations of the process and the pressure of managing all the pieces to make sure Cardon gets what he needs. It's a lot. Like you, in my tough time, I had a revelation of God's grace. My prayer is that His will be done in my son's life and THAT reassures me that regardless of what specialist, doctors, teachers may or may not be doing...God has the final word and will give him what he needs. Be encouraged. September 4, 2011 3:57 am
  • Nathan Gwinn: This story and your other posts are beautiful. I'm an uncle to two young men with sensory processing issues and I worked in elementary schools for years. Your passion and care will provide everything Cardon needs. When issues arise you will be able to advocate while he learns to fight for himself. I'm going to read more but I wanted to say that I love how you are growing as a mother and leader. November 16, 2021 3:16 pm
  • Waikiki Photographer: Wishing you the very best in Peace, Love, and Happiness Aloha! May 20, 2023 11:33 am