Getting ready to move, and I found a box of things I kept from the hospital after Gavin died…

Inside was a picture one of the nurses took of me holding him as we said goodbye. It was an interesting experience, seeing that again. Anyone else would likely have struggled to look at the image…found it morbid, probably.

His edema made his skin taught and paper thin. He was intubated and covered from top to bottom in tubes and wires (the highest IV was in the skin of his head and the lowest was inserted into the top of his right foot—then there were countless other tubes and wires littered across the space in between—so, in this case, “from top to bottom” is not used as a figure of speech). His coloring shows clear evidence of how close death loomed—literally moments away.

I’ve never been able to look at the picture myself for longer than a glance without turning my head, and I am his mother. . .

But this time was different.

I not only found myself able to look at the image, but I lost myself inside of it.

For the first time ever, I looked at that boy, in that physical state, and I didn’t want to turn away. In truth, for the first time ever, I saw so.much.beauty there.

The image didn’t disturb me at all. . .there was so much love in my heart— longing, yes, and also abundant love—overwhelming in proportion.

I wept tears of joy at the peace I had found.

_________________________________________________

I share this for those who mourn—no matter the cause.

I share this for those who are in the darkest parts of the trauma called “grief.”

There is hope.

There is another side of the tunnel called grief—for it is, as they say, a tunnel, not a cave (though I know there are days, weeks, months, years even when it certainly does not feel that way).

Someday, you will be able to open the box of the darkest hours of memory, and the terror will be gone.

There will always be remnants of sorrow and pain, it is evidence of our very humanity, evidence of the depth of our love, but the terror, the horror, the racing heart, the crushing in your chest, the inability to recall and look at certain events of your past without the threat of complete physiological and emotional overwhelm. . . that can change.

It can.

The change comes in and through a God, a literal Father in Heaven, who knows and loves you perfectly.

Ask.

Wait.

Exercise patience (though I know, the wait can be excruciating).

And through his perfect love and grace, you can find peace, even understanding, to free you from that darkest part of the grief and pain by which you are bound.

I KNOW this is true, for I have lived it.

It took a miracle, but thankfully, we live in a world that is full of those.

xx,

N

CBD has become one of the most popular health and wellness products on the planet, and for good reason. The chemical compounds that comprise CBD oil have a wide array of benefits, generating healthy effects for everything from sleep support to pain and inflammation relief to calming properties that help with stress and anxiety, and more. It’s no wonder that more and more people are turning to CBD, or cannabidiol, as a part of their daily health regimen.

But what exactly is CBD, and why does CBD interact the way it does with the human body? Before we explore the world of cannabis and the health-boosting effects of cannabinoids, such as CBD and THC, let’s take a look at some of the Effects of THC-O on Appetite.

Shopping for CBD Oil UK Products

When shopping for CBD tincture products, the key is to look for quality. There are a lot of unscrupulous CBD companies out there looking to make a quick pound by selling CBD products containing poor-quality CBD oil. Here are some things to look for when shopping for CBD tincture products.

Organic Hemp

Legally, it’s extremely difficult for CBD companies to advertise their products in the UK as being organic, even if they are actually organically grown. But it’s an important factor to look for when you shop for CBD in the UK. The hemp plant, from which CBD oil is derived, is what’s known as a bioaccumulator, meaning that it pretty much sucks everything up from its surrounding soil that it can. This is great for soaking in nutrients, but if there are pesticides or other chemicals in the soil, those will be pulled into the plant as well, and end up in your CBD product. That’s why it’s vital to find a CBD company that uses naturally grown, organic CBD.

Extraction Methods

Originally, CBD oil was extracted from the plant by means of steam distillation. This was clean, but inefficient. Then, manufacturers began to use various chemical solvents to derive their CBD oil. This was efficient, but not necessarily clean, as some of those solvents left a chemical residue behind in the oil. CO2 extraction provides the best of both worlds. It’s efficient, pulling all of the cannabinoids, terpenes and flavonoids from the cannabis plant, and it’s clean, leaving no chemical residue behind. The need for purity doesn’t end at the cannabis fields. Insist on CBD products containing CBD oil extracted with clean CO2.

Third-Party Laboratory Testing

There’s only one way to know if your CBD oil was organically grown and cleanly extracted with CO2, and that’s by being able to see a lab report, produced by an independent, third-party laboratory. Every legitimate CBD brand will make one of these reports readily available for each of its CBD products. This report will tell you whether you’re getting the potency of CBD you’ve been promised, by giving you the exact mg of CBD and other cannabinoids in your product. It will also tell you if there are any chemical contaminants in your CBD product. If you don’t see third-party lab reports on a CBD company’s website, find another CBD company!

CBD has become one of the most popular health and wellness products on the planet, and for good reason. The chemical compounds that comprise CBD oil have a wide array of benefits, generating healthy effects for everything from sleep support to pain and inflammation relief to calming properties that help with stress and anxiety, and more. It’s no wonder that more and more people are turning to CBD, or cannabidiol, as a part of their daily health regimen. 

But what exactly is CBD, and why does CBD interact the way it does with the human body? Before we explore the world of cannabis and the health-boosting effects of cannabinoids, such as CBD and THC, let’s take a look at some of the bestCBD oil UK products.

Shopping for CBD Oil UK Products

When shopping for CBD tincture products, the key is to look for quality. There are a lot of unscrupulous CBD companies out there looking to make a quick pound by selling CBD products containing poor-quality CBD oil. Here are some things to look for when shopping for CBD tincture products.

Organic Hemp

Legally, it’s extremely difficult for CBD companies to advertise their products in the UK as being organic, even if they are actually organically grown. But it’s an important factor to look for when you shop for CBD in the UK. The hemp plant, from which CBD oil is derived, is what’s known as a bioaccumulator, meaning that it pretty much sucks everything up from its surrounding soil that it can. This is great for soaking in nutrients, but if there are pesticides or other chemicals in the soil, those will be pulled into the plant as well, and end up in your CBD product. That’s why it’s vital to find a CBD company that uses naturally grown, organic CBD.

Extraction Methods

Originally, CBD oil was extracted from the plant by means of steam distillation. This was clean, but inefficient. Then, manufacturers began to use various chemical solvents to derive their CBD oil. This was efficient, but not necessarily clean, as some of those solvents left a chemical residue behind in the oil. CO2 extraction provides the best of both worlds. It’s efficient, pulling all of the cannabinoids, terpenes and flavonoids from the cannabis plant, and it’s clean, leaving no chemical residue behind. The need for purity doesn’t end at the cannabis fields. Insist on CBD products containing CBD oil extracted with clean CO2.

Third-Party Laboratory Testing

There’s only one way to know if your CBD oil was organically grown and cleanly extracted with CO2, and that’s by being able to see a lab report, produced by an independent, third-party laboratory. Every legitimate CBD brand will make one of these reports readily available for each of its CBD products. This report will tell you whether you’re getting the potency of CBD you’ve been promised, by giving you the exact mg of CBD and other cannabinoids in your product. It will also tell you if there are any chemical contaminants in your CBD product. If you don’t see third-party lab reports on a CBD company’s website, find another CBD company!

PS. Dear Instagram,
Thank you for making the life of the every day blogger infinitely. . .
well, better, in every way.

This morning, I was packing sack lunches with as much satisfaction as I’ve experienced in the entirety of my life (in sincerity).

Tears of gratitude streaked across my face as my soul joyously proclaimed, “What else matters, but lunches?!” (Yes, this description truly necessitated the ridiculousness of language like, “joyously proclaimed,” so get off my back.:))

In that messy moment, not a thing in the world mattered to my heart more than the mouths those lunches would feed. Not a thing.

“Our shadow by day” is a line from a hymn that I love.

Our shadow by day. . . I never realized the significance, until I moved to the desert. The difference between the shade and the beating heat of the sun, can very literally mean the difference between life and death.

The spiritual parallel is astonishing.

You see, I’ve felt so broken. So disoriented. So utterly small and completely overwhelmed.*

Then, I stepped into the shade. I stepped into His rest. And nothing has been the same.

As I actively seek my Father in Heaven, I find him. As I actively seek that spiritual shade, so to speak, my life is more fulfilling in every way that truly matters (and in most of the ways that don’t).

My brown paper sack at 6 in the morning . . . my shadow by day. Visit Orlandomagazine.

No matter how you slice it, God is there, and He is great.

(Psssst. You matter to Him, SO MUCH, by the way.)

*These feelings are part of the path we walk, those of us “who know.” All of these feelings are lingering symptoms of the journey through grief. That said, they are also symptoms that come as the result of other overwhelming, life shattering, circumstances faced by each of us every single day. Please don’t think that I’m EVER trying to compare battle wounds. Because I never am.

 

Things That Happen to Your Body When You Stop Vaping

Evidence is stacking up that vaping, once thought to be less harmful than smoking cigarettes, causes lung damage—and can be deadly. It’s also addictive, making it hard for anyone who has started to now stop. Just know that the minute you kick the habit, your body will feel the difference, and the benefits start almost immediately.

What is vaping?

When e-cigarettes first hit the market in late 2000, they were believed to be a safer alternative to tobacco cigarettes, but now there is evidence to the contrary. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have counted close to 3,000 cases of the new vaping related lung disease known as EVALI (e-cigarette, or vaping, product use-associated lung injury). In statistics gathered by 29 states, the agency has recorded 68 deaths. And then there’s the potential for the habit to aggravate the symptoms of Covid-19, potentially leading to severe cases and increasing the risk of death from the new coronavirus. Try out phenq.

Vaping is deadly. It’s also addictive. Vaping with a JUUL can be as dangerous as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. When you vape, you inhale liquid (or e-juice) from a cartridge attached to the vaping device. In addition to nicotine, that liquid can contain dozens of other chemical ingredients and flavorings.

Kids and teenagers have been especially attracted to vaping, thanks in part to attractive flavors like bubble gum, mango, and mint. Vape use in high school students rose by 900 percent between 2011 and 2015, according to the U.S. Surgeon General.

In June 2022, the FDA even issued marketing denial orders (MDOs) to JUUL Labs Inc., forcing the company to stop selling and distributing its JUUL device and four types of its “JUULpods.” The move was part of a largescale effort by the FDA to put the vaping industry under a microscope, requiring companies to prove that their e-cigarette products benefit the public health by helping people cut back on or quit smoking. Though the agency later decided to temporarily suspend the order to conduct more research, there is still a federal push to regulate vaping and encourage the public to stop using e-cigarettes.

But quitting vaping can be difficult, just like trying to stop smoking. And while quitting can be hard on the body, you’ll mostly start to benefit as soon as you make the decision to kick the habit. Read on to learn exactly what happens in your body the minute you stop vaping. Read more at

https://washingtoncitypaper.com/article/565430/prodentim-reviews-new-report-on-this-chewable-candy-for-healthy-gums/.

The Best Ways to Quit Smoking

20 minutes later: Cardiovascular improvements

In as little as 20 minutes, “your heart rate returns to normal, your blood pressure drops, and your circulation starts to normalize,” says Nikola Djordjevic, MD, project manager of Med Alert Help.

Your breathing may improve, too: The two key ingredients in an e-cigarette—propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin—produce chemicals when heated that are detrimental to your respiratory tract, according to research published in 2018 in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. “When you quit vaping, you should find that your breathing becomes less labored and your airflow is clearer,” says Caleb Backe, a certified health and wellness expert for Maple Holistics.

A few hours later: Nicotine withdrawals

Nicotine is addictive, and you may experience some minor and temporary symptoms. “Acute nicotine withdrawal symptoms can be psychological and physical,” says Dr. Djordjevic. The psychological symptoms can include cravings for nicotine, mood swings, trouble concentrating, irritability, and anxiety, he says. Physical symptoms include “headaches, sweating, tremors, insomnia, increased appetite, abdominal cramps, and constipation,” Dr. Djordjevic says.

These are the first effects you’re likely to feel, often within four to 24 hours after quitting. These effects will peak around day three, Dr. Djordjevic says, “and gradually decrease during the following three to four weeks. So it will take around a month to break the habit.” If you think smoking e-cigarettes is healthy, these silent ways vaping impact your body may surprise you.

 

 

 

Above quote by the tap dancing goddess, Eleanor Powell.
Above photo, sweet Mailee, spinning in the sun.

I wish I could pass my life by simply spinning along through the warm rays of the sun.

I’ve been left in awe in recent days as I’ve pondered over just how very much I have been given. This is a refreshing respite from the cold and lonely land of self pity I’ve danced my way through over the past couple of weeks.

People, God loves us. He loves you. He loves me. He wants us to find peace. He wants us to find joy. He wants us to have security, laughter and all the beauty and goodness this world has to offer. But like the little chick, we must break out of the egg on our own. We must push and struggle, and sometimes even kick and SCREAM, in order to break that shell. But once we do. . . we are free. We are strong. We are prepared for the big world that awaits us. God doesn’t make things easy for us. No. Because he loves us too perfectly for that. He knows we need to grow, to progress  . . . to prepare for what lies ahead. . . otherwise where would we end up? Well, what happens to the chick who doesn’t develop the strength necessary to break out of his shell on his own? What happens if a well intentioned master steps in and helps by pulling the shell away? Eventually, the chicken dies, for it has not developed the strength to survive in the outside world.

As my wonderful husband reminds me (as it relates to this analogy, which ultimately belongs to him, not me), “Natalie, we are all big chickens.” (And he’s right.)

Once upon a time, someone asked me if I would die for God. There was no hesitation in my heart, “Of course I would.” The question that followed has never left my soul, “Will you live for Him?”

It’s interesting to think about. And by interesting, I’m sure I mean Earth-rattling. In quiet moments I’ve imagined myself standing up for what I believe, fighting for integrity, truth, purity, light. I’ve imagined myself as the heroine of my own story, willingly making the ultimate sacrifice for all that is good and holy! But God hasn’t asked me to make that sacrifice, what he has asked of me is a broken heart and a contrite spirit. He has asked me to truly LIVE for him.

What would happen if I were to translate that same courage, that same commitment to what I believe so perfectly that I would die for it, into the LIVING of my life? How would I approach everything I do? With courage, with faith, with resolve, with a willingness to see clearly and sacrifice as necessary for the people and things in my life that matter most.

I’m in the process right now of drawing the strength and courage necessary to make a couple of very large sacrifices. I’m sure they would seem insignificant to most, but they are nevertheless, gut wrenching for me. But I want to live for my Father in Heaven at all times, and in all things, and in all places, even if that means taking big risks, doing hard things and offering up my heart and soul. . . (the living of my very life) as evidence of my faith in Him.

I believe that true sacrifice — our will for His— brings forth the greatest blessings of heaven. The greatest blessing I could ever ask for, and the greatest blessing that I believe comes as a result of our greatest sacrifices, is that of PEACE.

. . . peace that feels like spinning along through the warm rays of the sun.