I’ve spent the last 6 months wondering how I’d ever return to the world wide web. I’ve been afraid, ashamed, discouraged, confused.

I’ve been a million things, but none of them was ever “ready.”

So, here I am. . . reluctantly breaking radio silence, after nearly 6 months of static.

I missed you. I did. And I’m so sorry for deserting you. I am.

I’m nervous. Of all the ridiculousness there ever was, I.am.nervous.

It’s like I’m coming home to a long lost friend. The kind of friend who once understood me completely and loved me without condition. The kind of friend who, once upon a time, would have been there for me, no matter what. . . But it’s been so long. What if things have changed? What if it’s simply been too long? What if I’ve muddled everything?

I’m afraid.

In fact, my heart is pounding through my chest. (And tears are streaming down my cheeks. . . which really embarrasses me—full disclosure, remember? It’s my thing. Or have I been away so long that you’ve forgotten?)

“This is absurd,” you say? I KNOW! You are ABSOLUTELY correct. This is absurd. We’re talking about a BLOG here, and a peripheral one at that! I.hear.you. I feeeeeeeeel you. And, despite it all, this is exceptionally hard. Picking up the pieces and beginning again where I stand is hard in a way that I could never, ever have anticipated.

It hurts to worry that no one is left to listen. It hurts to admit that, well, even if you are still there listening, I just don’t know what I have left to say. And THAT? Well, that’s the most horrifying admission of them all. . .

So, why today? Why not yesterday? A week ago, a month ago, six?

Why am I suddenly ready, today?

Oh, I’m not. Ready. Not at all.

But enough. Enough. Because this isn’t about me. It has nothing to do with me at all.

I’m here today for you, Adler. For you, Sarah. And for you, brave, selfless McKay.

I am here today, for you.* 

 

Friends, please share what you can (I’ve been here, trust me, every dollar matters). If you can’t share monitarily, please, help me spread this video as far and wide as the ocean is deep.

Let’s help give this family the miracle they so deserve. Let’s help these beautiful brothers grow up together.

Let’s fix Adler, together.

 xx,

N

*Sarah, McKay, Adler and the rest of you sweet kindred stranger-friends of mine, I pray so earnestly that you receive a miracle. I pray with every beat of my heart that God hears my prayers. I pray fervently that His perfect will is aligned with my own. And I pray, with the entirety of my broken heart, that your miracle looks far different than my own—I pray that your miracle ends with happily ever after. . . together. . .forever. . .here . . .now. Infinite love, and the most heartfelt namaste, Natalie

Punta Cana, Dominican Rep.

Happy Haitians; migrated to Dominican post Earth quake of 2010.

All smiles.

Living in a house the size of my walk in closet.

Love.

Laughter.

Understanding what life is all about.

Thank you, friends.

Lesson learned.

xo,

N

I’m so thankful for Kellin and Sean’s presence in my life. They are filled with passion and adventure, kindness and creativity, and as much crazy love for each other as you could imagine in your very happiest of dreams. Couples like Sean and Kellin are the reason I keep shooting weddings. They remind me what it means to REALLY love, and they give me hope for a future filled with adventure, passion, LAUGHTER, and let’s just be honest. . . PLENTY of really good food. ;) Enjoy!



And then, we partied.

PS. Remember Jp and Alexis’ amazing wedding (I shot it last year in Annisquam, MA)? Well, Kellin is one of Alexis’ childhood friends. Kellin and Alexis have got this magical sisterhood–more like a sacred friendship tribe (but seriously)–full of the most spectacular “women of substance” you’ve ever met in your life. I was SO EXCITED and HONORED to travel to Oahu to shoot/celebrate Kellin and Sean’s wedding. It was wonderful to see all these cherished people. . . who by some strange twist of fate feel like MY childhood friends–even though I’ve only known them just over a year, and haven’t seen them since. That’s the spectacular thing about Sean and Kellin (and everyone they surround themselves with)–they make you feel like you belong, completely. I don’t care who you are, they’ll make you feel like family. I felt as much like a guest at their wedding as I did their photographer. ABSOLUTE acceptance and inclusion–Sean and Kellin are absolutely gracious and full of love, through and through. xo! you two crazy lovebirds, X.O!

click here to open post Nov 15, 2011 | posted in Uncategorized | 7 comments

Above: My boys and I. . . snuggling, sleeping and loving each other right on up.

Auntie G is in town, so that means lots of amazing photography of us doing what we do best. . . being us.

It’s that time of year, the time of year when everyone else gussies up to have their family portraits taken; not us. All I want to do is snuggle my babies and eat bon bons (not really, in actuality I don’t even know what a “bon bon” is). I’m so happy that G is here to capture us. . . just.being.us, including all the snuggling and imaginary bon bons we can stand.

Love you, G. So much.

Today, I’m so grateful for girlfriends. I’m grateful for real, candid, heartfelt conversations and authentic love, loyalty and respect. I’m thankful for a supportive husband and BEAUTIFUL children who I dream of every moment of every day and lie awake loving all through the night. Happy weekending from ICE COLD Atlanta! xx! N

Lara

Gina

Excited to Make Atlanta Happen Bright and early tomorrow morning.
Blessings, blessings all around!

Missing you SO MUCH Emily (and Baby B)!