I’m deeply sorry for the lame-O post, but I simply cannot help myself. I just have to tell you!

I am absolutely, completely, unquestionably smitteny by Tide’s Pods.

The smell, the ninja-esque cleaning power, the all-in-one-ness. I die.

Amazing.

If they were a human, I’d have them over for a congratulatory BBQ to celebrate their utter awesomeness.

Buy them.

The end.

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(Seeing as I’m blogging from my phone, there is a high probability that the resolution on the above image is poor. I promise to remedy said problem, should it in fact exist, just as soon as I get home from field trippin’ it with Raleigh-Roo tomorrow at the science museum! Thank Jupiter it’s indoors. It was 107 degrees today! Somebody please remind Arizona that it is, in fact, still MAY. Good gravy!)

Post Edited to Include (at 10:02 pm the next day might I add): WHAT THE HECK PEOPLE! I knew the resolution would be bad, but THAT BAD?? How did none of you send out a search party and TELL ME?! Holy cow patty. Problem (finally) solved, no thanks to YOU. ;)

(And no, I am in no way affiliated with Tide. But thank you, all the same, for questioning the sincerity of my enthusiasm. Mwahahaha.)

I love a good laugh. We all do, right?

No, I seriously LOVE a good, sincere, hearty, belly laugh. It’s high on my top 10 list (FOR SURE).

Twitter makes me laugh. All the time. And I love it.

I wish I could tweet just about every word that comes out of Uncle Richie’s mouth, but unfortunately that man simply can’t be contained to 140 characters. Sorry world. You’re missing out.

Here are a couple of other things that just can’t be contained to the space of a tweet. I hope they help to make your Tuesday bright.

Things I Can’t Tweet: Episode 1

Shelly and her new friend, Skip.

Did I ever tell you about the time my sweet mother-in-law, Shelly, was forced to ride the bus? A considerable distance, that is. I’m not being a bus snob; city busses are cool.

Her (male) seat mate, in complete sincerity, asked her to scratch his back and call him “Skippy.” (Yes, Skippy. And yes, this story is the gospel truth.)

Later, a different seat mate (female), after reciting her entire medical history, family saga and a million completely inappropriate etceteras, noticed Shelly’s blatant cues that she was no longer going to engage in the conversation but was in fact going to take a nap. The woman responded, “Oh, you go ahead and close your eyes; I’ll just lull you to sleep with the sound of my voice.” She continued talking for the for the remainder of the trip.

Things I Can’t Tweet: Episode 2

Richie plus Zach.

One morning, I was standing in the bathroom, ironing my blouse. (No, I don’t normally say “blouse,” except for just then, because it came to my mind  . . . and I thought, “Ok. Sure.”)

Richie walked in and said, “What ever happened to Zach Efron?”

Me: “Well, I have less than zero idea what happened to Zach Efron. Wait, didn’t he just do that Dr. Seuss show?”

Richie: “He got a nose job.”

Me: “How on Earth do you know this?” (Note: we don’t have TV and hardly make it a point to know what’s going on in the world at large, let alone Hollywood.)

Richie: “I saw it online.” ***Looooooooooong pause.*** “When I was online searching for stuff about Zach Efron.”

?

Chirp, chirp. Have a good day! Mwwwwwa!

PS. Be sure to enter this week’s giveaway! A customized watercolor portrait by the fabulous Ashely of Birds of AshMae.
PPS. Have an engaging story that you simply can’t tweet? Submit your stories to aloha{at}natalienortonblog{dot}com. Make us laugh out loud (by us I’m pretty sure I just mean me. . . well, and Uncle Richie, I suppose), and you may find your story featured on this here blog in a future episode of Things I Can’t Tweet! NOTE: I don’t think profanity is funny, well, except for the D word; that pretty much always makes me laugh (against my will!). Keep submissions within the PG range, por favor (see, I’m practicing my Spanish already—who ever said I don’t have what it takes to make a dream come true??). Subject line should read: THINGS I CAN’T TWEET.

Congratulations to Teresa Peschke! You win. Tada!

First things first.

No, Cardon does NOT have a bowl cut. But since he’s a total spaz (times infinity) about getting his hairs cut, we let him walk around (and be photographed) looking like he IS in fact sporting a bona fide, 1990′s, bowl-doo. (However, I also let my kids dress themselves, which is infinitely more embarrassing than the hair situation, so at least there’s that. . . or . . . gosh, there’s that too?! I’m not sure which best fits.)

Check out (and enter to win) this amazing “Adventure In A Box Fort Kit” from The Happy Family Movement!

H A N D. S E W N. Yes, for serious. This activity was the most fun we’ve had together as a family in months (and SOOOO Much easier to clean up than the traditional “raid the linen closet” fort variety).

PS. Be sure to check out the ever inspiring HFM Blog and their fun family product center which includes a KILLER Roadtrip Adventure Guide (take it from me, it takes roadtrips from hair splitting, to side splitting, in no time flat).

We may have spent more time throwing, wrestling around with, and rolling ourselves up in the pieces than we actually spent building with them.

Boys. Enough said.

I don’t know WHAT came over Lincoln that night, but GOSH, he wanted to be in every.single.shot. Luckily he’s so stinkin’ adorable  . . and charming, and handsome, and funny, and irresistible, and cute, and PERFECT . . . in every.single.way. That little boy owns my heart.

Enter to win a Fort Kit from HFM!

1.  Comment below. Easy as pie.
2. To earn another entry for yourself, simply Facebook, Tweet, or blog a link to this post, come back and comment telling me you’ve done so, and BAM! You’re entered again!
3. Have a happy day!

ENTER BY FRIDAY, March 23rd. Winner will be announced shortly thereafter. Monday? Probably. But you just never know about these things, do you?

I am so sick.

Like, the kind of sick that makes you wish you were dead.

The kind of sick that makes you pull the car over every half hour or so to take a quick cat nap so you don’t pass out and kill the cute little Christmas elves in the back seat.

The kind of sick that makes you climb into a shopping cart and make said elves push you around Toys R Us, because you sincerely cannot stand for more than 2 minute intervals. And yes, the other Toys R Us patrons really loved our little show.

Sometimes I forget how strange our family must seem to other people. . . we kind of just do what we do and never think a thing of it until we see someone else’s reaction . . . but I digress. . .

Richie has been out of town for the last week (aside from Wednesday night), so I’ve been flying solo with the crazies. Side note: check out this darling cell phone pic (Instagram: NatalieNorton, find me!) of the boys at their Christmas dance recital on Friday. Love them.

So today, Richie was home again (jiggity jig/huge sigh of relief), so I sent him to church with the boys, while I took a 4 hour nap. . . and after a full 8 hours of sleep last night, I’m very impressed with myself. The sleep was great (and the HUGE dose of Advil wasn’t bad either), but let me tell you the thing that rocked my world harder than anything else.

Hello, Columbia’s awesome baselayer.

Earlier this fall, Columbia Sportwear sent me a bunch of winter gear to review. Can I just say, I love working with Columbia?! Unlike other vendors that send me their products for review, Columbia has NO EXPECTATION whatsoever that I’ll blog or otherwise promote their products (which is good, because if I don’t love something, there is NO WAY I’m writing about it anyway). What makes Columbia even cooler, is that they SPECIFICALLY ASKED me that if I did decide to share my thoughts on the gear, that I would be completely honest (even if that meant a negative review). Gosh. Talk about integrity. What an amazing company they are.

Happily, I only have a 5 star review for them thus far.

Enter: The Baselayer. It’s essentially long underwear, only a thousand times cozier and not nearly as sticky and sweaty when you’re wearing it indoors. It has this weird, alien looking, metallic lining they call Omni-Heat® + Omni-Wick™ that actually works to reflect your body heat back to you in the areas you need it most and to wick away sweat in high-perspiration zones. Beyond all that, it’s comfy as can be, totally easy to move in, and has some kind of “antimicrobial treatment” that keeps the fabric feeling and smelling fresh through high exertion or when. . . saaaaaaay  . . . you’re sick and don’t shower or change your clothes for 3 days straight (whatever you do, don’t tell mim). What? Don’t judge. I said I was dying.

I have the bottoms pictured left as well as a matching top, that I’m not finding online. The closest match I’ve found is the Men’s version that has gray stitching instead of red. Richie has plain black. Sleek meets cozy. Love.

I’m probably the only psycho on Earth who would ever do this, but yesterday night I actually wore them outside (yes, JUST my baselayer). I had to run out to the car really quick and wasn’t willing to change my clothes. It was 35 degrees out, I had a fever of 102,  and guess what? I did not even feel the chill, not at all. Bam! You go Columbia, you GO! Thanks for swaddling me through this funk.

I’m excited to wear these bad boys (and the awesome jackets they sent Richie and I) skiing in Park City next week.

Wish me well. I’ve got to kick this thing by Wednesday morning or Christmas is ruined. RUINED I SAY!

xo, N