I love a good laugh. We all do, right?

No, I seriously LOVE a good, sincere, hearty, belly laugh. It’s high on my top 10 list (FOR SURE).

Twitter makes me laugh. All the time. And I love it.

I wish I could tweet just about every word that comes out of Uncle Richie’s mouth, but unfortunately that man simply can’t be contained to 140 characters. Sorry world. You’re missing out.

Here are a couple of other things that just can’t be contained to the space of a tweet. I hope they help to make your Tuesday bright.

Things I Can’t Tweet: Episode 1

Shelly and her new friend, Skip.

Did I ever tell you about the time my sweet mother-in-law, Shelly, was forced to ride the bus? A considerable distance, that is. I’m not being a bus snob; city busses are cool.

Her (male) seat mate, in complete sincerity, asked her to scratch his back and call him “Skippy.” (Yes, Skippy. And yes, this story is the gospel truth.)

Later, a different seat mate (female), after reciting her entire medical history, family saga and a million completely inappropriate etceteras, noticed Shelly’s blatant cues that she was no longer going to engage in the conversation but was in fact going to take a nap. The woman responded, “Oh, you go ahead and close your eyes; I’ll just lull you to sleep with the sound of my voice.” She continued talking for the for the remainder of the trip.

Things I Can’t Tweet: Episode 2

Richie plus Zach.

One morning, I was standing in the bathroom, ironing my blouse. (No, I don’t normally say “blouse,” except for just then, because it came to my mind  . . . and I thought, “Ok. Sure.”)

Richie walked in and said, “What ever happened to Zach Efron?”

Me: “Well, I have less than zero idea what happened to Zach Efron. Wait, didn’t he just do that Dr. Seuss show?”

Richie: “He got a nose job.”

Me: “How on Earth do you know this?” (Note: we don’t have TV and hardly make it a point to know what’s going on in the world at large, let alone Hollywood.)

Richie: “I saw it online.” ***Looooooooooong pause.*** “When I was online searching for stuff about Zach Efron.”


Chirp, chirp. Have a good day! Mwwwwwa!

PS. Be sure to enter this week’s giveaway! A customized watercolor portrait by the fabulous Ashely of Birds of AshMae.
PPS. Have an engaging story that you simply can’t tweet? Submit your stories to aloha{at}natalienortonblog{dot}com. Make us laugh out loud (by us I’m pretty sure I just mean me. . . well, and Uncle Richie, I suppose), and you may find your story featured on this here blog in a future episode of Things I Can’t Tweet! NOTE: I don’t think profanity is funny, well, except for the D word; that pretty much always makes me laugh (against my will!). Keep submissions within the PG range, por favor (see, I’m practicing my Spanish already—who ever said I don’t have what it takes to make a dream come true??). Subject line should read: THINGS I CAN’T TWEET.