Will you regret it when you’re 80?

My husband, Richie, is a thousand times smarter than I am. When I’m up against a big decision and go to him seeking advice, he always turns things right back around on my own sense of intuition. He maintains that NO ONE knows what’s best for me better than I do. (PS. The same is true of each of you).  “Natalie, will you regret it when you’re 80?” he asks (with a wickedly obnoxious little grin).

Allow me to explain.

I recently found myself on a chartered boat in the middle of the Carribbean Sea. Knowing I might never be in this place again, knowing that this opportunity was likely once in a lifetime for me, knowing that were I NOT to jump, I WOULD look back and regret it when I was 80, I stood up, and I dove in.

Are you on the edge of the boat? Is opportunity knocking but you can’t seem to bring yourself to jump? Afraid the water’s cold? Afraid of what might be lurking beneath the surface? Afraid you might drown?!

I get it.

Jump anyway. Or. . .  be prepared to regret it when you’re 80.

I love the opportunity to look into people’s lives and provide heartfelt feedback and loving direction. I don’t have all the answers—not even close—but as I respond to your questions, I get the tremendous blessing of watching you soar, not to mention the treasured gift of self reflection and the beautiful byproduct of personal development. Because of this, I’m genuinely falling in love with Formspring. Here’s an example from today’s feed that illustrates this fear to JUMP. (Nope, you’re not alone. Not by a long shot.)

Question:

Ok, so WHY am I scared of success? Why am I nervous to be as awesome as I know I can be??? Why do people sabatoge amazing opportunities?? I have the potential to be great. Things are all lined up for awesomeness… I’m just afraid to take that step.

My response:

Not knowing your specific goals or challenges, I think it’s best for me to simply answer from my realm of experience.

I personally get really afraid of success because I know the amount of work it’s going to require. I crave simplicity, I crave clarity, I crave a calm, uneventful life. . . and I KNOW that the kind of success that is available to me (and to each of us) requires a lot of STINKING.HARD.WORK. Stretching, growing, risking: all things that success requires, come along with a fair amount of chaos, unpredictability, and confusion. It’s hard for me emotionally to knowingly opt in to all that is required for big change— big success.

I also fear failure. I really fear getting lazy and not being willing to consistently put in the hard work required to make big things happen in my life. It is possible to do and become ANYTHING. Even as a mother, I can have balance and success between my work and family life, but it takes A LOT of commitment, A LOT of consistency, and A.LOT.OF.EFFORT. The reality of everything can be vastly overwhelming to me (often to the point of damming me up completely).

A good way I’ve found to combat these feelings is to say to myself: “Will I regret it when I’m 80?” This material is 100% Richie’s. He’s so much smarter than I am. If I look at my goals and I say, “When I’m 80, looking back on my life, will I regret not putting in the hard work to achieve a, b or c?” If the answer is “yes” then I put on my hard hat and I get to work, no matter the cost. If the answer is “no,” then I reevaluate my goals.

The reality is, you have EVERYTHING you need to be successful. You have every resource, every ounce of strength, every minute of time you need. Each of us has EVERYTHING we need—right in this very moment. I really do believe that. We just have to have the complete confidence that we are on the right path. Once you’re sure, take courage, put on your hard hat, and have faith in yourself. You’re SO much greater, SO much more capable than you know!

Now, let me ask YOU:

Will YOU regret it when you’re 80?

Will you regret not following through on that nagging hunch? Will you regret not getting in touch with your authentic self? Will you regret not risking it all to go for that amazing dream? Will you regret spending your life in a job that doesn’t play to your unique strengths (a job you hate)? Will you regret not fighting hard for the success of the most important relationships in your life? Will you regret not giving your all to be genuinely HAPPY?

Will you regret not embracing your fears and jumping anyway?

JUMP! Your life is waiting.

Do you feel that? It’s change, and it’s on it’s way to Las Vegas. Will you be there to meet it?! I sincerely hope you will.

I’ve been thinking about The Breathe Intensive so much over the last few weeks since I posted information regarding the Las Vegas intensive coming in February. I’ve finally come to a conclusion!

I’m instituting a HUGE overhaul to the current model.

This isn’t a sales technique. This is simply the RIGHT thing to do. I want MORE people to be able to access this material, I want MORE people to have the opportunity to experience the life changing effects of coming to this workshop and putting in the work it requires.

The impact of this content should be felt deep and wide, and THIS is the way to do it.

Let me explain:

As much as I WISH I could accommodate each and every one of you, it’s logistically impossible.
Seats will go FAST at this price.

Register (here) TODAY!

Above: a quote from my brilliant Momma, Annie Link.

Hello friends!

At least once a week, I’ll be blogging over on our Making Things Happen Tumblr Page.

For those of you who are new to the blog, I just wanted to take a beat to introduce you to Making Things Happen and the lovely ladies I work with there: Lara Casey, Emily Ley, and Gina Zeidler. These are three of my dearest friends and some of the biggest inspirations in my life. They’re sure to inspire you, too.

What started just over a year ago as a vacation on a whim, has transformed into the very axis of my personal and professional life. MTH fires me up. The content keeps me inspired, the community keeps me accountable, and it gives ME the tools to get out there and make big change in my own life (and in the world around me).

Counting my blessings once again. Thank you Lara, Em and G for seeing that spark in my soul— for taking me in to your business, your hearts, your lives.

Check out my post from today: Overcoming the Gravity of Resistance.

Have a good weekend!

xo,

N

Don’t forget, Registration is open for Breathe Las Vegas! Early bird pricing ends 1/30!
Connect with us on Twitter! @MTH_2012

click here to open post Jan 03, 2012 | posted in Inspire, Personal | 18 comments

Last year:

2011 was full of some really big wins—for my family, my marriage, my career. . . my soul, but the success came, as success often does, littered amid some really overwhelming (and even devastating)  transition and pain. So yes, my feelings toward 2011 (and subsequently 2012) are muddled, and rightly so.

I will however say this, I’m not sorry to watch the year go.

Sayonara lady; say.o.nar.a.

I resolve:

(When, by the way, did feelings vis-à-vis goal setting at the beginning of the year become so antagonistic? People, have a little courage—and faith in yourselves—for Pete’s sake!)

In 2011, I had one resolution.  One. It’s of a fairly personal (read: embarrassing) nature, so don’t expect me to dish. Sorry friends, your curious little cat is definitely going to die–my lips are sealed.

Like I said, one resolution, and while it is still somewhat a work in progress, I’m happy to report that SIGNIFICANT (read: soul rattling) progress was in fact made toward it’s fulfillment in 2011. Reason to rejoice!

This year’s resolution, I am willing to divulge, but not without back story.

Me: Richie, what’s your resolution?

Richie: To do what I know.

Me: How do you mean?

Richie: I know a lot. This year, I need to DO what I know.

You see, he’s right.

We DO know a LOT.
All of us do.

It’s easy to focus on the negative, on the places we lack, on the ways our lives are different than, less than, harder than those around us (or worse than the way we thought they’d be—the way we “deserved” them to be). But the reality is, if we really dig deep, we’ll find just how blessed we really are, and if we dig even deeper, we’ll find that we inherently have every.single.thing we need, right inside of us.

My short conversation with my brilliant husband caused me to dig.

Here’s what I found.

I have been blessed with tremendous parents (M + D) who raised me with love and taught me emotional intelligence and spiritual understanding (and happily, some street smarts to boot). I have been blessed with remarkable resources both personally and professionally who teach me (mostly through example) how to not only survive, but to THRIVE in this crazy realm we call “life.” I also have beautiful children who have taught me patience and love, and a smart, faithful, supportive husband who loves me crazy. (Yes, that last sentence reads just as I intended it to. ) I have a religion that fills me to overflowing and stands ready to guide me through every faucet of my life: if only I’ll stop, look and listen.

Above and beyond everything else, I have that quiet voice that lives deep inside my soul. . . that sweet voice that inherently knows the way to love, to live, to be. This year, I’m ready to listen to that voice who knows.

I’m still muddled; I have no idea where this year will lead, but this is the year I will stop spinning my wheels, and simply do what I know.

Yes, this is the year I’ll live from my heart; this is the year I’ll do what I know.

Here’s to you, 2012. I’m sincerely excited for you to come into focus.

Because I know A LOT. (PS-You.do.too.)

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Above: me, wrapped in my swaddling clothes…

Hello friends!

I’m sorry I’ve been MIA this week.

I’m not going to color coat my life for the blogosphere… I’m in a genuine funk. I miss my brother, I miss my son and all this missing makes me feel like I’m quietly losing my mind.

Every time I close my eyes, vivid memories, horrifying memories flood my consciousness.

Showers are the worst; I didn’t realize how much deep, closed eyed thinking went on during showers.

I’d rather stay dirty, thank you.

I knew this anniversary would be hard, I just didn’t anticipate the person it would turn me in to. I’m grouchy and melancholy, and for the first time in a long time, I actually feel sorry for myself.

Bleh. I hate this version of me.

The happy news is that I respect myself enough to let myself ride this wave. One of the greatest gifts I can give myself through grief is the opportunity to simply be where I am, without frustration, without judgment.
Because this too shall pass.

It most certainly shall…

N

Note: blogged from my phone. Please pardon any crazy formatting or grammatical oversights… Muah!