2011 was full of some really big wins—for my family, my marriage, my career. . . my soul, but the success came, as success often does, littered amid some really overwhelming (and even devastating) transition and pain. So yes, my feelings toward 2011 (and subsequently 2012) are muddled, and rightly so.
I will however say this, I’m not sorry to watch the year go.
Sayonara lady; say.o.nar.a.
(When, by the way, did feelings vis-à-vis goal setting at the beginning of the year become so antagonistic? People, have a little courage—and faith in yourselves—for Pete’s sake!)
In 2011, I had one resolution. One. It’s of a fairly personal (read: embarrassing) nature, so don’t expect me to dish. Sorry friends, your curious little cat is definitely going to die–my lips are sealed.
Like I said, one resolution, and while it is still somewhat a work in progress, I’m happy to report that SIGNIFICANT (read: soul rattling) progress was in fact made toward it’s fulfillment in 2011. Reason to rejoice!
This year’s resolution, I am willing to divulge, but not without back story.
Me: Richie, what’s your resolution?
Richie: To do what I know.
Me: How do you mean?
Richie: I know a lot. This year, I need to DO what I know.
You see, he’s right.
We DO know a LOT.
All of us do.
It’s easy to focus on the negative, on the places we lack, on the ways our lives are different than, less than, harder than those around us (or worse than the way we thought they’d be—the way we “deserved” them to be). But the reality is, if we really dig deep, we’ll find just how blessed we really are, and if we dig even deeper, we’ll find that we inherently have every.single.thing we need, right inside of us.
My short conversation with my brilliant husband caused me to dig.
Here’s what I found.
I have been blessed with tremendous parents (M + D) who raised me with love and taught me emotional intelligence and spiritual understanding (and happily, some street smarts to boot). I have been blessed with remarkable resources both personally and professionally who teach me (mostly through example) how to not only survive, but to THRIVE in this crazy realm we call “life.” I also have beautiful children who have taught me patience and love, and a smart, faithful, supportive husband who loves me crazy. (Yes, that last sentence reads just as I intended it to. ) I have a religion that fills me to overflowing and stands ready to guide me through every faucet of my life: if only I’ll stop, look and listen.
Above and beyond everything else, I have that quiet voice that lives deep inside my soul. . . that sweet voice that inherently knows the way to love, to live, to be. This year, I’m ready to listen to that voice who knows.
I’m still muddled; I have no idea where this year will lead, but this is the year I will stop spinning my wheels, and simply do what I know.
Yes, this is the year I’ll live from my heart; this is the year I’ll do what I know.
Here’s to you, 2012. I’m sincerely excited for you to come into focus.
Because I know A LOT. (PS-You.do.too.)