Well, the cat is officially out of the bag. . . though admittedly, the cat liked life in said bag. It’s dark and peaceful there, and her personal space isn’t congested by yard sale signs or packing peanuts.
Phoenix it is. Phoenix. Phoenix. Phoenix. That is the way the wind blows (for one unexplained reason or another), so that is the direction we will fly. I’m learning a lifetime’s worth on love, inspiration, faith and obedience to the will of God. . . even when I can’t seem to see the end from the beginning.
It’s hard. Traumatic, honestly. (I know. I’m such a drama queen.)
Please note that the trauma has very little to do with WHERE we’re going. I’m certain I’ll learn to love Phoenix, completely. (I am, after all, a “bloom where you’re planted” kind of gal.) I’m simply traumatized that we’re going anywhere at all. I love my life here in Hawaii. I don’t want to go anywhere else. Ever.
This is my home. . . I’ve felt more of a sense of belonging here than I have ever felt in my entire life, and I’m so thankful to the people here who welcomed me with open arms and taught me how to . . . be.
I’m light years away from the clueless, and somewhat broken, little 19 year old who came here a decade ago. I’m a better version of myself, plain and simple. I’ve learned to love, to let go, to give. . . oh the lessons I’ve learned on giving! I’ve learned to walk forward in faith and with a grateful heart, always and in all things. I’ve learned to LAUGH. To really, really laugh. The way only a Polynesian can teach. . .
And I’ve learned to listen. I’ve learned to listen in a way that I could never hope to adequately explain.
And. . . and, and, and. . .
Above and beyond anything else, I’ve learned, simply, to trust. I’ve learned to know that God’s hand really is in the details of my life, and that if I am quiet, if I humbly seek with pure intent, he will guide me in all things. And his plan will always be better than my own. Every.single.time. Even if his plan leads me to Phoenix. ;)
Hawaii, and the people here, the people who I have come to LOVE as my own flesh and blood, are sewn forever into the tapestry of my very soul.
Phoenix, be ready for me. I’m digging deep and trying with all.my.heart to be ready for you.
On to new adventures!
xx,
N