Oct 06, 2010 | posted in Baby Gavin, Brother Gavin, Personal | 21 comments

Above, Harrison, Idaho. From or 2 month long road trip/camping extravaganza.
Image Credit: Raleigh (left) Yours Truly (right)  . . both shot with the instax mini 7s

I am in a FUNK.

Of the deep and the dark variety.

So clearly, camping is the only remedy.

Though admittedly it’s heart-wrenching to be here. . . where a year ago to this very week I camped on this very same beach, 9 months pregnant and blissfully unaware of the chasm ahead.

. . . . . . . . .

Ah, the loop of time for the grieving heart.

A custom tailored Hell. Desolate, despondent and horrifying.

An indescribably lonely place to be.

I’ll see you when I pull myself together, because we all know that I will.

In the mean time, I’m giving myself permission to be a mess.

Because quite frankly, after all I’ve been through with gavin 1 and then gavin 2 (before the first was even cold in his grave), if I weren’t, I’d wonder what was wrong with myself.

So there.

xx, N

Oct 03, 2010 | posted in Baby Gavin, Personal | 15 comments

above first day of school shots taken on the instax mini 7s

Today I opened Baby Gavin’s closet and silently ran my hand along his clothes . . . hanging there, untouched for so many months, still adorned with tags and the smell of newness.

And my heart was so heavy.  My arms so empty.  My soul so full of sorrow.

Then I heard the howl of laughter from the living room and was reminded of YOU.  All you continue to give me every day.  All you represent.  All your very lives do to remind me of the hope and wonder of living.

You remind me that He hasn’t forgotten us.  That we are not forsaken.  He holds us still. . . even in the midst of pain and indescribable sorrow. . . in the very palm of his hand.

Thank you.

Mommy loves you with all of her.

xx,

Me

Sep 28, 2010 | posted in Family Portraits | 21 comments

Love this family up, down, side to side. SUCH a fun shoot!  . . . have I mentioned how much I love this family? Be sure to check out Nicole’s oh-so-beautiful photography here. Enjoy!  xx!  Me

Sep 26, 2010 | posted in Personal | 7 comments

kit kats, plus

plus

=

bliss

Just letting you know how I’d get fat if I were you. . . my 30 day cleanse starts today.  See ya on the flip side. . . 10 lbs lighter. xx! Me

Sep 25, 2010 | posted in Family Portraits, For Photographers | 9 comments

Shot Sharalee‘s beeeeeeautiful family at Envision | Seattle back in July (how the HECK is it SEPTEMBER already?!). LOVE these images. LOVE this girl. LOVE this family. Enjoy!