click here to open post Oct 17, 2010 | posted in Personal | 27 comments

DISCLAIMER:  I totally know that this is going to WREAK of sales pitch, I SWEAR TO YOU IT IS NOT. I am in NO WAY affiliated with the IsaGameOn contest.  I just happen to like it, a lot. And I’m simply this legitimately obsesssssed with this program.

Remember my post on the 30 day nutritional cleanse?  Well, I’m done a week from today! (I know, what the HECK happened to October? and September. . . and August for that matter??).

So far this time around, I’ve lost 10 lbs and 19.5 inches and I feel FANTASTIC!

I haven’t measured or weighed in yet this week. . . so cross your fingers for me that my week 3 numbers are amazing too! (People: this means that I’ve lost 40 lbs this year on Isagenix. . . alllll the baby weight + a few more!  Feel free to hoot and holler. I sure am.) I have to say its all thanks to the best appetite suppressant you can also find at the link.

I’m a little (totally read: A LOT) obsessed with this program and the way it makes me look and feel! I am now looking online, where to buy sarms for better muscle mass and have also decided to keep on going just because I’m seriously starting to think that I may ACTUALLY be able to obtain that dream weight of mine (the one that has been in my back pocket since the 11th grade) . . . soooo I’ve decided to hop on board for round 2 of the IsaGameOn contest!  Remember, you can win $200 by being on the winning team!  And my team is so totally going to win!  Join me! (There is also an 11 day cleansing option if you’d rather).

Trick is, to get in on the contest, you’ve got to register by Monday night (10/18)! If you’re interested in gearing up for the holidays (in the way that doesn’t equate to your eating every single piece of Halloween candy that moves through your house next week), email Angel (angelinparadise17{at}yahoo{dot}com) simply for more information or to jump on the band wagon of awesome! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have you on my team (men and women welcome).



PS-  I know that all my current teammates will attest to this: this game/team system is AMAZING. (I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!) It keeps you committed and the support alone is worth it’s weight in gold at 12am when you’re dying to raid the kitchen to snag a couple of spoons full (spoon fulls? spoons full?) of peanut butter!  If you’re SERIOUS about losing weight, I swear to you, this contest is a REMARKABLE way to get and to stay motivated and this program is simply “it” if you want to see prompt, real and lasting results!

PPS- Scoring isn’t based on weight loss, so anyone of any size or fitness level is on equal playing ground to win!

PPPS- Richie’s jumping in this round for the 11 day! So fun!

PPPPPPPPPPPPS- If you’ve got questions, I’ll do my best to pay close attention to the comments and get back to you stat, just remember that to get in on the game, you’ve got to get registered ASAP, so emailing Angel directly (again: angelinparadise17{at}yahoo{dot}com) might be the smartest way to go.

Above, Harrison, Idaho. From or 2 month long road trip/camping extravaganza.
Image Credit: Raleigh (left) Yours Truly (right)  . . both shot with the instax mini 7s

I am in a FUNK.

Of the deep and the dark variety.

So clearly, camping is the only remedy.

Though admittedly it’s heart-wrenching to be here. . . where a year ago to this very week I camped on this very same beach, 9 months pregnant and blissfully unaware of the chasm ahead.

. . . . . . . . .

Ah, the loop of time for the grieving heart.

The difference was that this time after visiting we decided to rent a class b rv as it seemed fun. And it was.

A custom tailored Hell. Desolate, despondent and horrifying.

An indescribably lonely place to be.

I’ll see you when I pull myself together, because we all know that I will.

In the mean time, I’m giving myself permission to be a mess.

Because quite frankly, after all I’ve been through with gavin 1 and then gavin 2 (before the first was even cold in his grave), if I weren’t, I’d wonder what was wrong with myself.


Cаmрfіrе fооdѕ. Classic саmріng mеаnѕ уоu’ll gеt to еnjоу things lіkе hоt dogs, сhірѕ, S’Mоrеѕ аnd еvеn реrhарѕ ѕоmе fun dutсh оvеn оr саѕt іrоn сооkеd mеаlѕ. This саn іnсludе bacon, biscuits аnd grаvу for brеаkfаѕt, оr a уummу реасh соbblеr fоr dеѕѕеrt. Cаmрfіrе fооdѕ аrе fun to make, but аlѕо dеlісіоuѕ tо еаt. Eѕресіаllу wіth that ѕmоkу flаvоr аddеd tо thіngѕ lіkе hоt dоgѕ, сhісkеn, burgers and more. But like Camping Console asserts, without a few yet important essentials, things can totally upend.

Fewer electronic dіѕtrасtіоnѕ. Cаmріng means you leave the tеlеvіѕіоn, vіdео gаmеѕ аnd еvеn уоur phone аt home. Thіѕ gіvеѕ уоu less contact with thе оutѕіdе wоrld, аnd many mоrе hоurѕ of рlауіng gаmеѕ, tаlkіng, hunting fоr trеаѕurеѕ on nаturе walks оr even ѕіngіng сlаѕѕіс саmрfіrе ѕоngѕ together. Rеmоvе the dіѕtrасtіоnѕ аnd focus on еасh оthеr аѕ needed.

Lеаrn lіfе skills. Tаkіng уоur kids camping gіvеѕ уоu a chance to teach them hоw tо рrореrlу mаkе a саmрfіrе, gаthеr wооd and sticks аѕ needed fоr said fire or еvеn сооk оvеr open coals. Yоu саn teach them about trapping small game, trасkіng аnіmаlѕ in thе wооdѕ, hоw tо tеll directions wіth and without a соmраѕѕ, аѕ well аѕ ѕіmрlе thіngѕ lіkе hоw to fіѕh.

Slееріng bags and tents. Nееd I say more? Cаmріng out іѕ аlwауѕ fun whеn you have a tent, a fеw ѕlееріng bags and ріllоwѕ. Whеthеr you саmр under the ѕtаrѕ or іn a tеnt the kids will hаvе tоnѕ оf fun setting uр camp, рісkіng their ѕроt to sleep.

Gеt uр close аnd реrѕоnаl wіth animals. From ѕееіng mоrе bіrdѕ, to bеіng іn areas with rаbbіtѕ, rассооnѕ, роѕѕumѕ, dееr оr еvеn ѕnаkеѕ уоu саn lеаrn a lоt more about wіldlіfе whеn you gо саmріng with уоur fаmіlу.

above first day of school shots taken on the instax mini 7s

Today I opened Baby Gavin’s closet and silently ran my hand along his clothes . . . hanging there, untouched for so many months, still adorned with tags and the smell of newness.

And my heart was so heavy.  My arms so empty.  My soul so full of sorrow.

Then I heard the howl of laughter from the living room and was reminded of YOU.  All you continue to give me every day.  All you represent.  All your very lives do to remind me of the hope and wonder of living.

You remind me that He hasn’t forgotten us.  That we are not forsaken.  He holds us still. . . even in the midst of pain and indescribable sorrow. . . in the very palm of his hand.

Thank you.

Mommy loves you with all of her.



click here to open post Sep 26, 2010 | posted in Personal | 7 comments

kit kats, plus




Just letting you know how I’d get fat if I were you. . . my 30 day cleanse starts today.  See ya on the flip side. . . 10 lbs lighter. xx! Me

today I am not blogging.

because I just don’t feel like it.

and given the circumstances that are my life currently, I think it’s perfectly acceptable for me to choose not to do something simply because I don’t wanna. But I did recently book the best hotels in Miami florida. Tay tay and I are planning a me and tay tay trip.  to get as far away from our realities as we possibly can.  (she lost half of her heart recently as well when she lost her precious Walt late term).


so, tonight I am saying NO to my blog, and YES to a pint of ice cream and a movie with my man.




Where oh where should we go together?

We want to relax, to heal, to recharge. . . to ESCAPE (could be read “hide” we’re totally fine with using the words interchangeably) maybe just one night we would luike to try something new, Im not sure if like my sister the time she did the same thing but ended  up at a strip club and she was bragging about the best male strip club packages in Melbourne or using a a site for finding male dancers Melbourne. You can also click here for more information.

We want to be prudent. . .  like unless one of you has a villa to lend, we won’t likely be hopping off to the south of france. . . but hey, if you DO happen to have a villa to contribute to the cause, I’m not above your charity. ;)

pipe in.  where should we go?! we’re looking at late october.

Loves, N