So. My parents bought the boys new shoes. Yes, they are freakishly ugly, but I am probably more excited about these shoes than any article of clothing they have ever owned.

Exhibit a.

They are Velcro. (If I have to tie another shoelace, when we’re already late for school, FORCRYINGOUTLOUD, I’m going to cut off my hands with a butter knife).

Exhibit b.

They are open air, like sandals, BUT have closed toes and heels so they’re still suitable for the school dress code. Plus, they don’t require socks! This means there are no complaints of (read: panic attacks over) itchy or “scrunched up” socks. Halle-stinkin-lujah!

Exhibit c.

Their feet will no longer wreak of DEATH and PERDITION because, as aforementioned, they are open air, like a sandal.

Again, ugly as sin, and the BEST.SHOES.EVER.

Cardon loved his SO MUCH in fact that he refused to take them off. He spent the entire evening wearing them. INCLUDING the 45 minutes or so he spent walking around the house naked. Well, naked that is EXCEPT for the ugly shoes. At one point, I found him stark naked (aside from said shoes), on the toilet, spinning an unwrapped tampon over top his head. When I walked in on him and told him to throw it away, he looked at me clueless as could be and said, “Why? What the heck is it for.” I pretended not to hear, naturally, and walked out of the room. He yelled after me, “WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING FOOOOOOOOR?!!!” I ignored him. Again, naturally.

And that was Wednesday night. Nakedness, ugly-awesome shoes, and tampons.

The end.

PS. Don’t forget to enter the t shirt giveaway; winner will be announced tomorrow, THURSDAY afternoon (10/6) + did you see Emory and Alison’s BEAUTIFUL Hawaii wedding?