Richie, reading the Christmas story to the boys at bedtime.

Dear Richie,

Today I went to the cemetery.

You were still asleep, the house was quiet, so I slipped on my running shoes.

I ran and I ran and I ran, and before I knew it, I was there.

The grass was beautiful, covered in dew, as the sun was just breaking it’s way over the horizon.

I sat there and had a good long cry.

I thought about where we were a year ago tonight . . . Blessing our fourth PERFECT son. Surrounded by family, laughter, and so much hope for the future.

It would only be days before we’d find ourselves walking long, lonely hallways in a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, falling to our knees each moment in fervent prayer. So desperate to keep him with us.  So desperate not to say goodbye. So desperate for a miracle.

A year later, I see. . . through misty eyes. . . an entire tapestry of miracles. All woven together in faith, longing, sorrow and joy, into something so beautiful, so pure, so perfect, that I wouldn’t have it any other way. Aren’t we?

YOU Richie, are the most profound miracle of my life.

Thank you for being with me through this year. Thank you for wiping away my tears. Thank you for lifting me from the dust and inspiring me to carry on, not just to SURVIVE, but to move forward with JOY and determination. Thank you for helping us turn our tragedy into triumph.

I love you.

Merry CHRISTmas!



Raleigh 12/11/2010

Cardon 12/11/2010

Lincoln 12/11/2010

Gavin 12/24/2009